Drinking from the Garden Hose

As I sit in my backyard on this sunny Sunday morning, five days into 2025, I'm reflecting on my evolving relationship with alcohol over the past few years. My water glass catches the morning light, and I'm reminded of how much clarity I've gained since June 2021, when I first decided to reevaluate my relationship with alcohol. The journey started with over three years of complete sobriety, not a single drop. In the later part of 2024, I allowed alcohol to make rare, intentional appearances: celebrating love at two international weddings, sharing a professional toast, sipping a margarita on vacation, and yes, ringing in the New Year with some tequila and champagne. These weren't slip-ups or failures; they were conscious choices that aligned with my values and the role I want alcohol to play in my life. By no means did I drink regularly in 2024, but I also wasn't 100% dry. But here's what I've learned: the mental load of deciding whether to drink in every soci...

The holiday season brings so much joy - twinkling lights, cherished traditions, and precious time with loved ones. But between the travel, rich foods, and packed social calendars, it can also leave us feeling depleted just when we want to be our most vibrant selves. This year, my husband and I made the intentional choice to have a quiet Christmas at home. After an whirlwind of work travel, celebrating my brother's stunning Costa Rican wedding with family, and hosting Thanksgiving for my in-laws (trading our usual snowy Idaho visit for an earlier celebration), my body was sending clear signals that it needed rest. As someone who travels frequently both for work and to maintain connections with friends and family spread across the U.S., I've learned to recognize when I'm running on fumes. Rather than push through, I'm embracing this week as a time for deep restoration. My days have been filled with simple pleasures - losing myself in books for hours, taking long therapeut...

Today's a travel day. I'm back in the groove of traveling just about every other week for work. Last week I was home in San Diego, the week prior I was in Las Vegas for the IMEX conference. See pics from the Beyond the Bar panel! We had a great discussion about the importance of including non-alcoholic options at events... something I will write a separate blog post about...  In 4 hours I'll be in flight to Dallas, Texas; visiting THREE different corporate offices tomorrow - Amazon, Toyota and Ericsson. Tis the season for conferences and customer visits!  I've had the opportunity to speak on a number of panels this year. Before you have experience it's hard to get the invite, but once people see you or notice a LinkedIn post of you with a microphone in hand, the asks start rolling in. Public speaking does not make me nervous, it's something I enjoy. If any part of speaking gives me nervous, it's the quotes and recordings that will be on in the internet, pote...

My maternal grandmother passed away a few weeks ago, a day I always knew would come, nonetheless still felt like a surprise. I miss her so much and I wish I could fly myself to Georgia and hear her witty quips in her strong Southern accent, but my heart will always feel the love we shared. As far as dying goes, she went out in a way that gives me a lot of peace. Her last full day on Earth was spent celebrating her 94th birthday with her 3 month old great-grand baby [thanks lil sis for making that dream come true for her ;)], eating cupcakes and ice cream with family, then she died simply watching television in her room the following day. She wasn't sick, had no diseases, and was simply ready to call it. Since my Grandad passed in 2012, my Gmom has had many suiters in her assisted living home but she would always reject them stating "My husband is waiting for me in heaven!" My heart is sure their souls had a joyful reunion.  Birds have a special spiritual significance, to ...

 I love love love love love love SUMMER! Right now, I'm sitting in my backyard enjoying this beautiful July day in San Diego - sunny and 75. Here's what I'm loving for summer: 1. Spending time outdoors . The only thing I get 'fomo' with is sunshine. If the sun is shining, I must be enjoying it. As a 9-5 corporate America worker, I still find ways to get outdoors while getting my work done. Working from home or in the office, coworkers have become accustomed to my video conference backgrounds being flora and fauna. There is a spectacular garden onsite at the Amazon San Diego office location, which I frequent. Suntanning is my 'guilty' pleasure, leading to the next thing I'm loving... 2. Super Goop Sunscreen. I'd been quite loyal to Sun Bum sunscreen products the past few years, but recently I've been OBSESSED with Super Goop products. Especially their Glow Screen and CC Screen . Combined or stand alone both products give you the perfect "no ...

I ’ve had a few days to simmer on the Benedictine College graduation commencement speech delivered by Kansas City Chief’s kicker, Harrison Butker. Vocation is a word he used 13 times throughout what my corner of the internet is referring to as a tirade of Puritanical bigotry. My mind has been stuck on this section, where he speaks to women, on womanhood: “For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this wor...

"Do you have a shopping problem?" a coworker asked recently at a meeting, to which I responded "I don't have a shopping problem, I have a shopping interest." This question was provoked by my Balenciaga jeans, which I did purchase from Net-A-Porter about 4 years ago, hopeful that I would get the $700 price tags worth of wear out of them... and definitely I have. Also, I married into a Basque family which Balenciaga was founded by a Basque man, Cristóbal Balenciaga, so I appreciate the cultural connection when I buy from this brand.  I've loved dressing up since before I could walk. My costume closet was overflowing with princess gowns and dance costumes, my mom would even hand sew me and my American Girl Dolls matching outfits in the 90s *super cool*. But why does loving fashion and expressing yourself through what you wear become associated with a "shopping problem?" The problem with shopping is if you do it to constantly acquire material things th...

SPRING BREAAAK! I might not officially get spring break off as an adult but I'm taking one anyways! Before March even began I knew this month was packed with plans. The plan this week is no plan :sunglasses smile emoji:. LET'S START WITH SXSW.  When I lived in Austin, SXSW was my favorite time of year. Speaking on a panel at SXSW was something I always wanted to do. I remember last year an author and influencer I follow Tinx did a panel with Mark Cuban and I thought 'I want to do that, but when will I ever be important enough?'. Turns out 2024 was the year and Women in Tech & Media was the topic! Imposter Syndrome isn't something I've ever identified with much - however at Amazon there is a major insecurity that comes with what level you are in our internal leveling system. This month I did get a major milestone promotion approved that bumped me up a level, but that hadn't even happened yet when I was invited to speak. That one number did make me feel l...

It's a new year! The holidays are behind us! However, the existential threats to human existence persist, leaving us millennials wondering if the roadmaps our parents laid out for our lives in the 80s and 90s are still paths worth pursuing, or even possible to pursue. Across nations, states and cultures - the mega question (primarily posed to women) is - "Do you want kids?". WANT? Wanting is a tricky word. Wanting something does not mean it will happen. The Four Noble Truths that are central to Buddhist philosophy are: (1) Life is suffering, (2) attachment to desire causes suffering, (3) suffering ends with the attachment to desire, and (4) the Eightfold Path is the path to liberation from suffering. We do have free will over the choices we make moment to moment, and those choices amount to the life we have. If you have a sense of your life purpose and that includes parenthood, that's a beautiful and meaningful thing to pursue and hope for. I understand why having...

I don't hold myself to a schedule for when or how often I write or create things to put out into the world. There's a compulsory urge that draws me to write or make a video to share, whether that's here on this blog, Instagram or my professional platforms. Usually I sit down to write, and the words gush out and I experience flow state. But sometimes, like right now... I know I have so much to say, but I get blocked by that false nagging, negative voice of the Ego - "EVERYONE is going to judge you and roll their eyes", "Who are you to speak on topics like sobriety, meditation, being a woman in business or spirituality? You don't have a PhD. You're not a CEO.", "Talking about not drinking is lame, you are a loser and alone in your decisions." You know when your brain and anxiety spiral into making up those "What if...?" future scenarios aka 'future tripping'...? Stemming from a place of fear and worry that you are not go...

Meditation can be an intimidating concept, especially if it's a practice you haven't gotten into yet. I'll start by saying meditation is an extremely personal experience, there are no rules or grades given, you don't win or lose a meditation. The whole point is to shut down all your senses and external stimulus. It's a time where there's nothing to do, see, taste, touch, smell or hear - this stillness allows you to focus on who you are underneath it all. Humans have busy brains with constant thoughts flying through our minds - "What's on my schedule today?" "What's my plan for dinner?" "Is the Earth going to burn and will the generations after me suffer?" "Does that co-worker think I'm lazy and bad at my job?" "Am I doing enough?" My first tip is comfort is key - whether that's laying down, sitting in a chair with your feet on the ground or cross legged on a pillow - being uncomfortable in your...

One thing that has been consistent throughout my career - assholes in the office. They are everywhere. Women have long had a reputation for being 'catty' and 'bitchy' in the workplace. It's time to debunk that stereotype and hold the other sex accountable. I had a glorious 18 month reprieve from uninvited ass-holery at work - still engaging with mostly men, albeit respectful and emotionally intelligent men. In the technology industry, it's a statistical fact that men hold the majority of jobs, especially as you get higher up the ladder. I'm not uncomfortable being the only woman in the room or on a call. However, I am not comfortable when there is blatant disrespect and dismissal directed at me, and it only happens when I'm in the gender minority.  Over the past 6 months I've stayed in the same role but taken on a different scope, interacting with new teams and people. Forging new paths is something I enjoy and done many times at this company, alway...

It's official - your girl is now Co-President of Women at Amazon Web Services (AWS). I've been a part of the evolution of Women at AWS since the first official gathering in 2015, held by female leaders in Seattle. There were about 100 people in the room at that point in time. In 2022, AWS publicly published we have ~136,000 employees of the ~1.5 million people that Amazon employs globally, largely serving our Amazon.com retail business that AWS technology, innovation and profits support. I was the first and only Woman on my first 3 teams at AWS. Now I have 3 strong female leaders in my chain of command, which honestly has made an enormous difference in my employee experience. Their support is why I know I can take on this additional responsibility. Women make up barely 25% of all workers in the technology sector - 1 in 4. In engineering departments, this disparity is closer to 1 in 10. So, you can guess-timate how many Women I'm advocating for - the ones who are already he...

The first thought that comes to mind when I reminisce on our wedding is - CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?! There aren't words to describe the immense joy that came from bringing our loved ones together in a place we love. We chose to get married at a hotel for a few reasons: 1. Integrating friends and family - we actually 'eloped' last year and got legally married, just the two of us at the San Diego Courthouse. This is the modus operandi of many of my millennial friends - tax breaks and insurance before romance in this economy. Modern weddings are astronomically expensive, so we considered leaving it at elopement and opting out of planning and paying for a big party. However, we are currently blessed in the bank account department and decided this was our only opportunity to blend the incredible people from all chapters of our lives - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. OUR FRIENDS BECAME FRIENDS. 2. The W Punta de Mita - we've spent several summers vacationing at this property with big grou...

I’m supposed to be writing a document for work right now, but I’m feeling quite emotional so I’m typing here instead.    My wedding ceremony is 16 days away! We leave for Mexico next weekend. I’m very excited and the event is shaping up to be very *us*. The only thing I’m struggling with at this point is putting all the money I’ve saved not drinking for the past 24 months, towards booze. Booze for other people to get drunk and *be merry* to celebrate the marriage of the bride who doesn’t drink alcohol. Booze that costs me FIVE FIGURES a.k.a over $10,000 a.k.a I don’t care who you are that’s not an insignificant amount of money.    I know I know, every wedding I’ve been to there is booze flowing freely all week long. Before I removed alcohol from my lifestyle, there’s a chance I would have RSVP’d a big fat NO to a dry wedding. Once at a ceremony rehearsal in a church, the Pastor requested that the bridal party and groomsmen refrain from drinking alcohol the m...

I titled this post after my favorite Mac Miller (RIP) song ft. Bun B. "All That" -  " The people think it's all about the fame And the money and your status in the game But it's deeper than all that" I've been getting really frustrated lately (actually since 2018), not because of Amazon or my job (I honestly am very stoked on what I'm working on these days)... but because of how it seems like the private and public sectors care about money over anything else... Profit over people and planet. On a daily basis I interact with most of the big hitters in Silicon Valley, and now my scope includes helping big industries like Automotive, Telecommunications, High Tech, Manufacturing etc. solve their challenges with cloud technology... and their primary 'challenges' discussed (aka revenue objectives)... across the board (driven by boards and shareholders) are: 1. Creating New Revenue Streams  2. Cost Optimization and Savings  3. Lowering ...