Trials and Tribulations of The No Booze Bride

I’m supposed to be writing a document for work right now, but I’m feeling quite emotional so I’m typing here instead. 

 

My wedding ceremony is 16 days away! We leave for Mexico next weekend. I’m very excited and the event is shaping up to be very *us*. The only thing I’m struggling with at this point is putting all the money I’ve saved not drinking for the past 24 months, towards booze. Booze for other people to get drunk and *be merry* to celebrate the marriage of the bride who doesn’t drink alcohol. Booze that costs me FIVE FIGURES a.k.a over $10,000 a.k.a I don’t care who you are that’s not an insignificant amount of money. 

 

I know I know, every wedding I’ve been to there is booze flowing freely all week long. Before I removed alcohol from my lifestyle, there’s a chance I would have RSVP’d a big fat NO to a dry wedding. Once at a ceremony rehearsal in a church, the Pastor requested that the bridal party and groomsmen refrain from drinking alcohol the morning of the wedding and show up sober to the Church. That made my jaw drop – “That’s ridiculous! Bridal parties ALWAYS have mimosas while getting their hair and makeup done!” I disrespected the Pastor’s simple request. I think most of us did. 

 

I’ve been a bridesmaid nearly 10 times and attended even more weddings. I’m struggling to recall a wedding with my previous lifestyle where I didn’t over-indulge in booze the night before and the day of… always regretting how exhausted and hungover I felt on my dear friends’ special days. Looking puffy and swollen with dark circles no amount of concealer can cover… the worst version of my appearance captured in my most special friends' most special photographs. This is a bummer because I am very confident in how I look and feel over 90% as the time. At the time I felt like I looked my best on those days, professionally glammed up. However, looking back on all those photos… I regret the binge drinking. I regret the hangover it led to. I regret the “hair of the dog” concept that put a tiny temporary pin in the discomfort of detoxing from alcohol. I regret getting drunk and being hungover. 


People vocalize their disdain for dry events. I’m asking a lot of people to travel to another country and stay at a nice hotel. We all make our own choices and I’m cool with whatever other people want to do, I’ve just made a choice that makes me feel socially isolated and alone at times. Living without alcohol. Every single time I meet a new group of people out for a meal or at a party… when it becomes known that I am sober, time halts, people’s faces screw up into a confused expression… “Why don’t you drink?” “Are you pregnant?” “Do you have a problem?” I get put on the spot... unsure what the correct answer is for this new audience of strangers. There are 148 reasons why I don't drink and frankly I don't know you and none of them are your business. It feels like I have to perform an infomercial - "Quick! Sell people on yourself and your sobriety in under 60 seconds! Don't be too vulnerable... but don't be dismissive! Make it seem like you love this choice... but don't make this person feel judged!" No matter what I say I feel judged. Unless I'm talking to another sober person.


It's not common or socially acceptable to ask “Why DO you drink?” or “Why DID you start drinking?” 

 

Vent session over. I am a very happy bride and I will have the time of my life. The sober community on the internet and at my yoga studio make me feel supported and included and confident in my choice. I just wish not drinking was as normal as drinking. 

 

If you made it this far, thanks for hearing me out. Most people probably didnt... research from the book linked below - What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains - states that our attention spans have become micro... when we read on a digital screen we scan and read in the shape of an F and rarely read an entire post. I'm not trying to make money or gain anything but connection and a creative outlet from this blog so I'll type as many or as few words as I fucking feel like. Anyways, have a great day :)

 

xoxo maddymo

 

Currently Reading:

Who Fears Death? - Nnedi Okoafur

The Shallows - What The Internet is Doing to Our Brains- Nicholas G. Carr

The Future of the Automotive Industry: The Disruptive Forces of AI, Data Analytics, and Digitization - Inma Martinez 

 The Obsession - Jesse Q. Santanto

 

Just Read:

Maus 1 & Maus 2 (graphic novel, true story from a Holocaust survivor) - Art Spiegelman 

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance - What Women Should Know- Katty Kay & Sandy Rustin

 

 

 

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