Goodbye, Grandmom

My maternal grandmother passed away a few weeks ago, a day I always knew would come, nonetheless still felt like a surprise. I miss her so much and I wish I could fly myself to Georgia and hear her witty quips in her strong Southern accent, but my heart will always feel the love we shared. As far as dying goes, she went out in a way that gives me a lot of peace. Her last full day on Earth was spent celebrating her 94th birthday with her 3 month old great-grand baby [thanks lil sis for making that dream come true for her ;)], eating cupcakes and ice cream with family, then she died simply watching television in her room the following day. She wasn't sick, had no diseases, and was simply ready to call it. Since my Grandad passed in 2012, my Gmom has had many suiters in her assisted living home but she would always reject them stating "My husband is waiting for me in heaven!" My heart is sure their souls had a joyful reunion. 

Birds have a special spiritual significance, to me at least. Around the moment my Gmom left her body on Earth, I was standing on a hill in Idaho with my sister in law. I told her "My ancestors send me hawks as messages," as a we witness a big beautiful hawk circling overhead. Only the next morning did I know the significance of that hawk. Back in San Diego the next few days on my daily walks I had magnificent hawk encounters, literally with a female hawk soaring alongside me as I strolled the oceanside cliff. It brought me immense comfort in grief. My mom kept saying she almost thought my Gmom, her mom, would live forever. 94 years is a very long lifetime. I'm grateful I got to spend most Sundays growing up with her and my Gdad, playing in their big vegetable garden and climbing the magnolia trees, making paper dolls and watching black and white tv shows. My memories of attending church with my Grandparents are vivid, many of the morals and lessons vividly entrenched in my psyche. I'm sure my Grandmother was happy to see her daughter, my mother, become a Grandmother (again... thanks lil sis). 

Grief is a human emotion that strikes you unexpectedly but is born out of love. Lots of love Gmom! I still feel your spunky southern spirit, I always will, and I look forward to a joyous soul reunion someday! 


xoxo

maddymo


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Do You Want Kids?"

It's a new year! The holidays are behind us! However, the existential threats to human existence persist, leaving us millennials wondering if the roadmaps our parents laid out for our lives in the 80s and 90s are still paths worth pursuing, or even possible to pursue. Across nations, states and cultures - the mega question (primarily posed to women) is - "Do you want kids?". WANT? Wanting is a tricky word. Wanting something does not mean it will happen. The Four Noble Truths that are central to Buddhist philosophy are: (1) Life is suffering, (2) attachment to desire causes suffering, (3) suffering ends with the attachment to desire, and (4) the Eightfold Path is the path to liberation from suffering. We do have free will over the choices we make moment to moment, and those choices amount to the life we have. If you have a sense of your life purpose and that includes parenthood, that's a beautiful and meaningful thing to pursue and hope for. I understand why having
Read more

March Madness - SXSW, Legos, Team Building & Tigers

Image
SPRING BREAAAK! I might not officially get spring break off as an adult but I'm taking one anyways! Before March even began I knew this month was packed with plans. The plan this week is no plan :sunglasses smile emoji:. LET'S START WITH SXSW.  When I lived in Austin, SXSW was my favorite time of year. Speaking on a panel at SXSW was something I always wanted to do. I remember last year an author and influencer I follow Tinx did a panel with Mark Cuban and I thought 'I want to do that, but when will I ever be important enough?'. Turns out 2024 was the year and Women in Tech & Media was the topic! Imposter Syndrome isn't something I've ever identified with much - however at Amazon there is a major insecurity that comes with what level you are in our internal leveling system. This month I did get a major milestone promotion approved that bumped me up a level, but that hadn't even happened yet when I was invited to speak. That one number did make me feel l
Read more

Things I'm Loving Lately: Summer 2024

 I love love love love love love SUMMER! Right now, I'm sitting in my backyard enjoying this beautiful July day in San Diego - sunny and 75. Here's what I'm loving for summer: 1. Spending time outdoors . The only thing I get 'fomo' with is sunshine. If the sun is shining, I must be enjoying it. As a 9-5 corporate America worker, I still find ways to get outdoors while getting my work done. Working from home or in the office, coworkers have become accustomed to my video conference backgrounds being flora and fauna. There is a spectacular garden onsite at the Amazon San Diego office location, which I frequent. Suntanning is my 'guilty' pleasure, leading to the next thing I'm loving... 2. Super Goop Sunscreen. I'd been quite loyal to Sun Bum sunscreen products the past few years, but recently I've been OBSESSED with Super Goop products. Especially their Glow Screen and CC Screen . Combined or stand alone both products give you the perfect "no
Read more