Unpaid Vocations: Wife, Mother, Homemaker - Response to Harrison Butker Commencement Speech

I’ve had a few days to simmer on the Benedictine College graduation commencement speech delivered by Kansas City Chief’s kicker, Harrison Butker. Vocation is a word he used 13 times throughout what my corner of the internet is referring to as a tirade of Puritanical bigotry.

My mind has been stuck on this section, where he speaks to women, on womanhood:

“For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.

I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker.”

We live in a Capitalistic society. If homemaker is one of the most valuable vocations a woman could have, then why does that role pay $0? The gender wealth gap - 55 cents to every dollar of a man’s median household wealth - is even greater than the gender pay gap - 84 cents to a man’s dollar. Financial freedom is a very important component to experiencing true freedom. Is making money the most important thing in life? No. But money is necessary to survive and thrive. 

The United States was founded on the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. Knowing your purpose and being able to align this with your vocation - career, profession, calling - is a certainly how I try to live my life. However, when the culture limits your vocations to those that do not allow for financial independence, wealth generation and require unpaid labor… that’s where I take issue. At this moment in time, being a wife, mother and homemaker are unpaid vocations. My parents raised me in the Church and I've been studying the Bible since I could read, and continue to have a keen interest in Theology. When pursuing my Degree in Latin, I spent years translating ancient texts and getting closer to the original language used in 'The Big Book'... Jesus did not share or preach the views this professional ball kicker holds.

To all the young women out there - my proudest moments are a blend of personal and professional. I met my husband at the office. A few years ago he decided to step away from corporate America to take care of our home, do the grocery shopping, laundry, etc., so I could pursue my big career dreams and he could spend his time pursuing his passions that don't bring in paychecks big enough to pay our bills. That’s our American Dream. It’s not about gender, it’s about the pursuit of each individual’s life, liberty and happiness.