Drinking from the Garden Hose

It's a new year! The holidays are behind us! However, the existential threats to human existence persist, leaving us millennials wondering if the roadmaps our parents laid out for our lives in the 80s and 90s are still paths worth pursuing, or even possible to pursue. Across nations, states and cultures - the mega question (primarily posed to women) is - "Do you want kids?". WANT? Wanting is a tricky word. Wanting something does not mean it will happen. The Four Noble Truths that are central to Buddhist philosophy are: (1) Life is suffering, (2) attachment to desire causes suffering, (3) suffering ends with the attachment to desire, and (4) the Eightfold Path is the path to liberation from suffering. We do have free will over the choices we make moment to moment, and those choices amount to the life we have. If you have a sense of your life purpose and that includes parenthood, that's a beautiful and meaningful thing to pursue and hope for. I understand why having

I don't hold myself to a schedule for when or how often I write or create things to put out into the world. There's a compulsory urge that draws me to write or make a video to share, whether that's here on this blog, Instagram or my professional platforms. Usually I sit down to write, and the words gush out and I experience flow state. But sometimes, like right now... I know I have so much to say, but I get blocked by that false nagging, negative voice of the Ego - "EVERYONE is going to judge you and roll their eyes", "Who are you to speak on topics like sobriety, meditation, being a woman in business or spirituality? You don't have a PhD. You're not a CEO.", "Talking about not drinking is lame, you are a loser and alone in your decisions." You know when your brain and anxiety spiral into making up those "What if...?" future scenarios aka 'future tripping'...? Stemming from a place of fear and worry that you are not go

Meditation can be an intimidating concept, especially if it's a practice you haven't gotten into yet. I'll start by saying meditation is an extremely personal experience, there are no rules or grades given, you don't win or lose a meditation. The whole point is to shut down all your senses and external stimulus. It's a time where there's nothing to do, see, taste, touch, smell or hear - this stillness allows you to focus on who you are underneath it all. Humans have busy brains with constant thoughts flying through our minds - "What's on my schedule today?" "What's my plan for dinner?" "Is the Earth going to burn and will the generations after me suffer?" "Does that co-worker think I'm lazy and bad at my job?" "Am I doing enough?" My first tip is comfort is key - whether that's laying down, sitting in a chair with your feet on the ground or cross legged on a pillow - being uncomfortable in your

One thing that has been consistent throughout my career - assholes in the office. They are everywhere. Women have long had a reputation for being 'catty' and 'bitchy' in the workplace. It's time to debunk that stereotype and hold the other sex accountable. I had a glorious 18 month reprieve from uninvited ass-holery at work - still engaging with mostly men, albeit respectful and emotionally intelligent men. In the technology industry, it's a statistical fact that men hold the majority of jobs, especially as you get higher up the ladder. I'm not uncomfortable being the only woman in the room or on a call. However, I am not comfortable when there is blatant disrespect and dismissal directed at me, and it only happens when I'm in the gender minority.  Over the past 6 months I've stayed in the same role but taken on a different scope, interacting with new teams and people. Forging new paths is something I enjoy and done many times at this company, alway

It's official - your girl is now Co-President of Women at Amazon Web Services (AWS). I've been a part of the evolution of Women at AWS since the first official gathering in 2015, held by female leaders in Seattle. There were about 100 people in the room at that point in time. In 2022, AWS publicly published we have ~136,000 employees of the ~1.5 million people that Amazon employs globally, largely serving our Amazon.com retail business that AWS technology, innovation and profits support. I was the first and only Woman on my first 3 teams at AWS. Now I have 3 strong female leaders in my chain of command, which honestly has made an enormous difference in my employee experience. Their support is why I know I can take on this additional responsibility. Women make up barely 25% of all workers in the technology sector - 1 in 4. In engineering departments, this disparity is closer to 1 in 10. So, you can guess-timate how many Women I'm advocating for - the ones who are already he

The first thought that comes to mind when I reminisce on our wedding is - CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?! There aren't words to describe the immense joy that came from bringing our loved ones together in a place we love. We chose to get married at a hotel for a few reasons: 1. Integrating friends and family - we actually 'eloped' last year and got legally married, just the two of us at the San Diego Courthouse. This is the modus operandi of many of my millennial friends - tax breaks and insurance before romance in this economy. Modern weddings are astronomically expensive, so we considered leaving it at elopement and opting out of planning and paying for a big party. However, we are currently blessed in the bank account department and decided this was our only opportunity to blend the incredible people from all chapters of our lives - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. OUR FRIENDS BECAME FRIENDS. 2. The W Punta de Mita - we've spent several summers vacationing at this property with big grou

I’m supposed to be writing a document for work right now, but I’m feeling quite emotional so I’m typing here instead.    My wedding ceremony is 16 days away! We leave for Mexico next weekend. I’m very excited and the event is shaping up to be very *us*. The only thing I’m struggling with at this point is putting all the money I’ve saved not drinking for the past 24 months, towards booze. Booze for other people to get drunk and *be merry* to celebrate the marriage of the bride who doesn’t drink alcohol. Booze that costs me FIVE FIGURES a.k.a over $10,000 a.k.a I don’t care who you are that’s not an insignificant amount of money.    I know I know, every wedding I’ve been to there is booze flowing freely all week long. Before I removed alcohol from my lifestyle, there’s a chance I would have RSVP’d a big fat NO to a dry wedding. Once at a ceremony rehearsal in a church, the Pastor requested that the bridal party and groomsmen refrain from drinking alcohol the morning of the weddi