Drinking from the Garden Hose

I’m supposed to be writing a document for work right now, but I’m feeling quite emotional so I’m typing here instead.    My wedding ceremony is 16 days away! We leave for Mexico next weekend. I’m very excited and the event is shaping up to be very *us*. The only thing I’m struggling with at this point is putting all the money I’ve saved not drinking for the past 24 months, towards booze. Booze for other people to get drunk and *be merry* to celebrate the marriage of the bride who doesn’t drink alcohol. Booze that costs me FIVE FIGURES a.k.a over $10,000 a.k.a I don’t care who you are that’s not an insignificant amount of money.    I know I know, every wedding I’ve been to there is booze flowing freely all week long. Before I removed alcohol from my lifestyle, there’s a chance I would have RSVP’d a big fat NO to a dry wedding. Once at a ceremony rehearsal in a church, the Pastor requested that the bridal party and groomsmen refrain from drinking alcohol the morning of the weddi

I titled this post after my favorite Mac Miller (RIP) song ft. Bun B. "All That" -  " The people think it's all about the fame And the money and your status in the game But it's deeper than all that" I've been getting really frustrated lately (actually since 2018), not because of Amazon or my job (I honestly am very stoked on what I'm working on these days)... but because of how it seems like the private and public sectors care about money over anything else... Profit over people and planet. On a daily basis I interact with most of the big hitters in Silicon Valley, and now my scope includes helping big industries like Automotive, Telecommunications, High Tech, Manufacturing etc. solve their challenges with cloud technology... and their primary 'challenges' discussed (aka revenue objectives)... across the board (driven by boards and shareholders) are: 1. Creating New Revenue Streams  2. Cost Optimization and Savings  3. Lowering '

What's up! Here we go again! Another year, another January. This time of year does feel significant and full of hope. The holidays are behind us and we can embrace that 'clean slate' mentality and dream about who we want to be and what we want to do in this calendar year. Taking a moment to reflect on the past 12 months - the struggles, the triumphs - helps me feel deep gratitude for the journey and our ability to be resilient.  At the beginning of last year, I knew a few people around my age that died by suicide. When this type of death occurs, we all want to understand 'why', often dissecting their personal/professional/romantic/financial situations... making sweeping statements like 'but they had it all!'. Many conversations with colleagues and friends focused on how perfect that someone's life appeared on the outside, not what was going on internally. Is it appropriate to share your mental health status at the office? Should we be vulnerable and open

Y'all, I LOVE summer. I could care less about chunky sweaters and I really don't like anything pumpkin flavored, so I can do without all and winter. I've been spending as much time as possible at the beach, swimming in the ocean and just staring out into the endless horizon. After our Tahiti vacation where I enjoyed every second of indulging in all the croissants, dessert crepes and coffee, my mind was in a great place but my body was feeling the effects of all the gluten, sugar and caffeine. As a millennial, it was my duty and obligation to my loyal followers to post constantly about my vacation (LOL). So, I also deleted the Instagram app off my phone for 40 days - I personally like taking breaks from Insta throughout the year, helps knock down your screen time immensely. It's funny how the first ~week I would automatically grab my phone and swipe to where the app was, and then realize the app isn't there so I'd go pick up a book or go back to work or call a fr

I’m sitting here in a lounge chair, staring out at the South Pacific Ocean soaking up the sun. Suntanning is at the top of my guilty pleasures list. The French Polynesian islands are absolutely magical! We started our 14 day trip in Tahiti and have been on Moorea for the majority of the time. It takes a few days to acclimate to island time, but now that I’m on it I’m CHILLIN HARD. Sleeping in as late as I please, having a coffee and a croissant by the ocean, snorkeling with tropical creatures and eating fresh fruit and seafood has been the daily ‘routine’ down here. Reading books in the sun for hours is a version of heaven. Screen time has been minimal, haven’t touched a computer and I left my phone off for a couple days. We’ve been puzzling at night and leaving the TV off. It’s officially been over a YEAR since I’ve had any alcohol to drink! We ate dinner at a restaurant recommended by some locals on the day of my sober-versary and we didn’t realize until everyone started to order dri

On pretty much every single podcast I've listened to lately, the conversation is around how much people are STRUGGLING. Glennon Doyle and her sister did an episode about burn out and how they are empty. Brené Brown has a lot to say about how the pandemic is taking a toll on everyone - just today she posted that she will be taking a 3 month sabbatical to regroup and recharge. WOW! I hope to see more leaders and influential people choose to take a step away instead of continue to plow forward. In 2019 I experienced extreme burnout and had to step away from corporate America for 9 months - #normalizesabbaticals! Aren't we all looking around wondering what the hell is going on? Just this morning I had several in person meetings for May and June get rescheduled to virtual due to a recent spike in COVID cases from employees that attended IRL offsites. We've all adapted wildly to this pandemic, and it's been INTENSE. Life has been hard and it's felt hard. Most people I kno

Thirty one trips around the sun! Today I turned thirty one years old. Last year when I turned thirty it felt like a significant milestone and I felt markedly older. This year, I feel more mature mostly because I kept forgetting my birthday was approaching and for the first time ever did not make everyone celebrate my birthday daily for all of April :). I forgot to take off work, so my day has been scattered with virtual video calls, but I still had time to go to my favorite coffee shop in town this morning, lay in the sun and take a long beach run. Since I quit caffeine, my go-to order is a Golden Turmeric latte - turmeric, coconut oil, whole milk and cinnamon - delicious! We also got croissants (I wrote in my gratitude journal this morning that I would celebrate with carbs and sugar). This will be my first booze-less birthday in over a decade! I have a cute photo my college roommate took of me holding my ID the day I turned 21 at a chic bar grown up bar (for a college town) that actua