"Acceptance is Accelerating"

This morning I woke up in my own bed, which is always a sweet sweet feeling after a trip… but now that I am a homeowner, it's even MORE satisfying! Our flight was at 9pm out of Puerto Vallarta and we didn't make it back to the house until midnight, a late itinerary that would historically make me groan and roll my eyes, cursing my plans that didn't account for my post vacay state of exhaustion/hangover. HOWEVER, after two weeks off the bottle I was calm, relaxed, dare I say peaceful?! Not even crying babies, dead cellphones or an empty gas tank could shake me! Yesterday on the beach I started the book 'Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety' by Sacha Scoblic. Across a few chapters she digs into the concept of getting back to who you were in childhood, what hopes and dreams the tiny version of y-o-u had for yourself and evaluating your present life situation against those youthful anticipations about the future. That's something I've been thinking about quite a bit in 2021, trying to identify and weed out bad habits I've picked up along the route (like drinking alcohol, obsessing over social media, limiting my ambitions, etc) and fill my cup with things that brought mini me joy (books, alone time, moving my body, sunshine and trees). I’ve started a new morning ritual! After I rise (slowwwly) I do a 20 minute meditation through the Peloton app! This morning I did an 'Acceptance' focused meditation that I did a few weeks ago, but I gleaned new perspective. Kristin McGee the instructor said "Acceptance is not settling, it is accelerating". Wow. Accepting where you are also means acknowledging the cold hard facts and truth of your current life situation, but you have to be honest about where you start to end up anywhere near where you actually want to be. It's like using a map to navigate your way out of a forest - you know where the meadow is on the other side of the woods, there are a number of routes to get to the meadow, but you must know the precise coordinates of where your journey is beginning in order to navigate towards the goal - the meadow. The longer we lie to ourselves or beat ourselves up over where our current 'starting' point is, the more we wander through time and space misdirected, lost on a longer and harder path. At Amazon - the company that gives me paychecks in exchange for my labor - we have a process called 'Working Backwards'. Start with clearly defining and envisioning the end goal and future state of your idea/project/dream, and work backwards all the way to the beginning detailing required steps and potential obstacles along the way. Reverse Engineering. This is how I try to frame big decisions or my ambitions, and from there choices are much easier to make on a day to day basis - does this decision path align with my priorities and the vision I have for future me? I've also started to realize that I'm not necessarily seeking perfection (refer to yesterdays post), but I have always had a huge fear of disappointing - disappointing my parents, my friends, my work, God and my present and future self. Avoiding disappointment is the same amount of pressure as seeking perfection. Love is the absence of judgement - just remember how much love people have for your next time you think they are judging.

xoxo maddymo